The doctor is here!
by Takaluca
Summary: Lisa decided she'd do the annual checkup on the Loud siblings. (Silly one-shot)


**Hey guys, Taka's back, and I'm not dead. Long story short, cutting right to the chase, I was bored and did this. Nothing too serious, just to bring up some laughs. Anyways, hope you enjoy.**

It was a Saturday morning, when all of the Louds, except for Lisa and Lily, were waiting on the hallway, in front of the former two's room.

"Why are we doing this again?" Lola asked.

"Because, it's literally time for our annual checkup, and Lisa insisted that she could provide a much better diagnosis for any problems we might have than any other doctor." Lori explained.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Lincoln said.

"Lisa convinced them saying it was harmless, quicker and cheaper."

"Even than, I know Lisa is smart, but can we trust her, as she's not a doctor?" Luna asked.

"If you're done criticizing my potential of being the responsible for this family health care." Lisa's door opened, she had a white lab coat, and was wearing rubber gloves. "We shall start our examinations. The first patient shall enter."

 **Patient: Lynn Loud**

"Wohoo, first one!" Lynn screamed.

"Yes, sibling, you are, indeed, the first one to receive my analysis." As she began grabbing her equipment.

"Good, can't be on second place. After this, I still gotta exercise. 20 Laps around the block, sit ups, push ups…"

"How about your homework?"

"Homework? I've got no time for that." Lynn stood up. "I'm a sports girl, the only exercise I do is physical, nothing can stop me!" She quickly screamed, delivering punches and kicks to the air, until she knocked the table Lisa used for experiments. Luckily, all flasks were empty.

"Oh, sorry!" She apologized. "What were we talking about?"

 **Diagnosis: ADHD**

"Next!" Lisa called.

 **Patient: Luan Loud**

"Okay, your breathing seems to be normal." Lisa said

"I'm glad you have me as your next patient. Might as well give me a shot?" Luna laughed, while Luan faced her seriously. "Come on, Lis. You know laughing is the best medicine."

"I tend to disagree with such beliefs over variations of the Placebo effect, yet they being less harm than what you do in April Fools"

"You're right! April Fools is close! There's so many pranks I'll pull up, you won't see it coming!" Luan stood up, and began looking around, grabbing some stuff. "I'll need this. This will be great. It will be the BEST!" Luan dashes out of the room, as Lisa went out of her hiding spot below the table.

 **Diagnosis: DID**

 **Patient: Lincoln Loud**

"Well, Lincoln, according to our exams, your health seems totally…"

"... While she might be a bit weird, Lisa sure knows how to take care of everyone in our own ways, and I know she'll do the best to assure it." Lincoln said, and faces Lisa. "So, what's the results?"

 **Diagnosis: Schizophrenia**

 **Patient: Lucy Loud**

"Okay, you should not be warmed, but I am unable to find your pulse, or your heart." Lisa said, going through Lucy's chest with a stethoscope.

" _Sigh._ One more thing that abandons me, as life quickly moves away, not caring for what we feel…"

 **Diagnosis: PDD**

 **Diseased?**

 **Patient: Lana Loud**

"Okay, sis. Here's the pee you've asked for" Lana came with a small plastic recipient with a light green substance in it.

"Thanks for providing samples for urinalys- wow, this is…" Lisa took a closer look, wondering over the strange tone. "What... have you consumed anything unusual or uncommon on your basic diet?"

"You mean if I ate something different? Well, I don't know… I felt that there were more chicken sandwiches at the trash of the Burping Burger this week…"

 **Diagnosis: Pathogen infection**

 **Requires further analysis**

 **Patient: Lori Loud**

"Make this quick, I'm texting Bobby!" Lori said.

"As long as I have your cooperation, this process shall not take much time to be concluded. As for a matter of me require your attention, I'll take your telephoning device for a short whi-"

"You're not touching my phone!" Lori hugged it.

"I expected that." Lisa pulled out a magnet, which made the phone slip right into her. "It's only for a few moments, I swe-" Lisa noticed Lori began shaking and sweating a bit.

"Give it back! You won't examine me!" Lori took both the magnet and the phone with her, as she left the room.

 **Diagnosis: Anxiety disorder**

 **Patient: Leni Loud**

"Okay, everything seems to be…" Lisa stopped talking, as she saw Leni in front of a fake skeleton Lisa had in her room.

"So, like, you'd totes love the new collection they've got back in the mall. It would match so much your white skin. And, like, maybe you could use some exercise too, you're so thin. Maybe Lynn can help. Anyways, I gotta go, cya" as she walked and bumped on the wall

 **Diagnosis: Learning disability**

 **Patient: Lola Loud**

"Go quick, I've got a tea party to set up!" Lola shouted, while looking at herself in a mirror.

"Well, you might want to reconsider, as the exams point out it would be wise to-"

"Are you saying I'm not healthy!" Lola asked

"Negative, dear sibling. However, there are small indicators pointing out some irregularities-"

"There's nothing irregular with me! I'm perfect!" She stormed out of the room.

 **Diagnosis: Narcissism**

 **Patient: Luna Loud**

"Who's ready to rock and roll!" Luna screamed, swinging her arm over the cords on her guitar. After the sound dissipated, Lisa took of her ear protection.

"So, shall we start, sibling?" Lisa asked.

"What, dude? You'll have to say it louder!"

 **Diagnosis: NIHL**

"Sigh. This family sure takes a lot of trouble. Okay, who's next?"

 **Patient: Lisa Loud**

"Wait a second…"

 _SPD_

" _I prefer to see my classmates as coworkers, or occasionally, test subjects"_

 _Sociopathy_

" _Being my test subject is for the greater good"_

 _Megalomania_

" _Hehehehehe"_

 _AS_

" _What do you mean, Lisa? we don't understand what you're saying . And why_ _you only do your experiments?"_

" _I'm the genius who shall save this family. Trust me, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing!"_

"Oh my…" Lisa said. She faced the clipboard.

 **Diagnosis:**

She picked up the pen

 **Diagnosis:** _ **Clear**_

"Another unusual day in the Loud house."


End file.
